What do you do when you’re facing an obstacle?
Most people don’t like obstacles. That makes a certain sort of sense. After all, when you’ve got a goal that you’re trying to accomplish, the last thing you want or need is something standing in your way. Obstacles seem to make us stand still; they keep us from getting where we want to go. They cause us to lose whatever momentum we’ve built up. In worst-case scenarios, they become the roadblocks standing in the way of allowing us ever to get there at all.
With all this in mind, it’s no wonder obstacles look so daunting.
What if obstacles weren’t as bad as you thought? What if the one thing you’re facing right now might hold the solution to the very problem you’re trying to solve? Consider this for a moment: What if what you’re looking at is not so much an obstacle, as an opportunity? That it’s your emotions holding you back, making you think an obstacle is a...
This year has been difficult for many and as we go into the holiday season you may be very anxious and even sad when you think about how different this year will be. Family gatherings will be much smaller or not at all. Gift giving is stressing you out due to finances or just what to do in these confusing times.
Before we get into the gift ideas, let's talk about expectations. The holiday season is often fraught with anxiety, depression, and disappointment as our expectations of what we want or think we should have for the holiday season does not come to fruition.
So, how can we curb our expectations?
Changing our expectations is about being realistic about what will happen based on the decisions we make. Yes, we have control over all of this.
We celebrated Christmas when I was younger, many people around the world have different holidays that they celebrate at this time of year. Christmas was such a big deal in our family, big stockings, gifts overflowing into the middle of the...
One of the most impactful feelings you’ll ever experience is hope. Hope occurs when we center our expectations on something. Your hope is like a wish for something to happen. And there’s power in those wishes!
Consider these points to increase your power with hope:
You probably can’t find anyone over the age of 10 that hasn’t felt overwhelmed at some point. It takes more to overwhelm some people than others, but the feeling and the impact are the same.
It can be very challenging to focus on solutions and take the necessary steps to resolve the situation. However, focus and action can ultimately solve most negative situations in your life.
Many of us are prone to worrying and then doing silly things to make ourselves feel better. This doesn’t solve the issue. It just avoids it temporarily.
There’s just no way around it: betrayals hurt. Whether you’ve been betrayed by a partner or a friend, it’s difficult to recover.
There is good news however, there are things you can do to help speed up your recovery so you can move on with your life and even start looking forward to a brighter future.
So how can you heal your heart, body, and spirit after a betrayal?
Trying to ignore a betrayal traps everything inside you and can stop you from healing.
It’s important to address the issues and learn to manage them. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You’ll learn to move past the betrayal, especially if you take action to help heal yourself.
2. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness is...
Shame is similar to guilt, but more personal. You might feel guilty for stealing a TV last month, whereas you might feel shame for being a thief. When you feel guilty, you feel bad about a particular event. Shame is more pervasive and personal. You might feel shame for being a poor parent or even being the victim of abuse.
Think of guilt as “I did something bad” and shame as, “I am bad.”
People that never feel shame are usually psychopaths. So, that is one less worry you now have.
Use these ideas to deal directly with any feelings of shame:
1. Explore why you feel shame. What happened? What does that event or series of events say about you? Is that a reasonable interpretation on your part? Are you being too hard on yourself? Is it possible that you didn’t do anything wrong at all?
When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person just stays away.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Forgiveness is the healthy and logical choice for several reasons:
Why is self-respect so important?
When you have self-respect, you actually fully love yourself. You love yourself for who you are on the inside and not just because of what you do, what you look like, or what you're capable of. When you have self-respect, you take pride in who you are and you know that you’re valuable.
On the flipside, without self-respect, it’s difficult to have honesty, confidence, and integrity. Instead, a person without self-respect may feel the emotions of anger, guilt, blame, shame, or regret, and they sport secretive behavior because deep down they feel unworthy. Beyond that, if you can’t respect yourself, how can you respect others and how can others respect you?
Putting Your Needs First
Too many people put the needs of others before their own. Although this is admirable, in order to respect and serve others, you need to meet your own physical and emotional needs first. Meeting your own needs first is an important...
Many people feel that when they take time for themselves that they are being selfish, but it’s just not true. Self care is vital for us to continue to care for others and all our responsibilities.
How to know if you are being selfish or not? You would think we would not need to ask this question, however in this day and age it is even more important. Our culture (especially for women) is to do for others. We are expected to do it all and do it with a smile on our face. But this would be why we have so much overwhelm, anxiety and depression, because it is just not possible to do everything without also doing for ourselves.
So how do you know if you are being selfish or not?
Selfishness never brings joy, peace, or love, it creates an inner and outer experience of isolation and loneliness. It does not create an opportunity to share, nurture, or serve. Selfishness is a choice to always think only of your needs and desires.
Self-care chooses to respect your inner...
The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.
It is often an unconscious side. It is only through our personal efforts to become self-aware that we can begin to recognise our shadow.
Although many believe the shadow is ‘negative’, this is not really true. The Shadow is what you yourself perceive as dark and weak in yourself, and therefore needing to be hidden and denied. But this depends on your own perspective on life, and your levels of self awareness and self value.
For some their shadow might just contain such classic elements as sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty, but you might also hide your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity.
Everyone has a shadow side no matter how nice someone may seem, they have a shadow side like anyone else.
You also cannot ‘get rid of’ or ‘heal’ your shadow. It’s an essential and...