We often hear the terms self-value (or self-worth) and self-esteem used interchangeably, but there is a very big difference between the two. To become your best self you need to have both, to build both together. Let’s take a look at what the differences are.
Self-esteem is the manner in which we evaluate ourselves. It is our internal assessment of our qualities and attributes. We have healthy self-esteem when what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves is honest and realistic. Building and maintaining healthy self-esteem depends on gathering evidence about what we are like as a person.
Self-value (aka self-worth) is the belief that you are loveable and valuable regardless of how you evaluate your traits. In this way, your self-esteem could hit rock bottom, yet you still hold onto the notion that you have innate worth. This is important. When you don’t feel good about yourself, this doesn’t mean, of course, that you are no longer valuable.
As humans we are conditioned to focus on the negative, this comes from our primitive self who in the face of saber tooth tigers needed to pay attention to the negative for survival. Unfortunately, that part of our brain is still a controlling factor and often hinders our ability to move forward in life as we do not believe in ourselves. We are quick to focus on the negative parts of ourselves whether real or not which keeps us from stepping out of our comfort zone.
We all want to feel good, and be our best selves. Carl Rogers, a psychologist, who in 1959 wrote ”a successful person is someone who experiences challenges and accepts failure and unhappiness as a part of life. They are open with others and generally have positive feelings about themselves”. “On the other hand, an unsuccessful person avoids challenges and refuses to accept the pain and unhappiness life produces. They are often defensive as a result of negative feelings about themselves, and they can't...
What is an Affirmation?
Affirmations are positive statements that can help us to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When we repeat them often, and believe in them, we can start to make positive changes.
Many think affirmations are unrealistic or “wishful thinking”, but like repetitive exercises that improve our physical health, affirmations are exercises for our minds and outlook. These positive mental repetitions can reprogram our thinking so that over time we begin to think and act differently.
Evidence suggests that affirmations can help us to perform better. According to researchers, spending just a few minutes on affirming our skills and best qualities before doing something we are nervous or anxious about, can calm our nerves, increase our confidence, and improve our chances of a successful outcome.
Affirmations have been shown to stimulate areas in our brains that make us more likely to affect changes in our health. Affirmations have...
Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey. Sometimes life may feel like it’s getting a bit boring or mundane, you can shake that up by adding a little excitement.
Part of that journey is to live in the moment, and enjoy each step of the way. You will not be happier when you get to a certain point, whether it be losing weight, earning more money, or moving to another location. Happiness is a mindset you choose.
Being excited about your life helps you choose that mindset. Here are six ways to add excitement to your life.
Celebrate the small things,celebrate that compliment your boss finally gave you. Celebrate reaching a goal, celebrate everything. Life is so much more fun when we celebrate. It doesn’t have to be huge, maybe treat yourself to something, or use that fancy china for the bar b q tonight. Celebrate with a friend, hold a brag nite once a week and you can each brag about the things you each did.
Get Curious about things. Have you ever wondered how...
Have you ever found yourself in a position where change was inevitable? Kind of like now with what is going on in the world. You may have felt annoyed, frustrated, or even scared about how that part of your life was going to change. Maybe you felt trapped-the change was going to happen whether you liked it or not. No matter what type of change it can be scary to some degree.
You may have even felt out of sorts or stressed out for days, weeks, or even months. But what if you were to undergo a paradigm shift and begin to view change as opportunity? What if you could reach out and embrace change with open arms?
Think of the change a caterpillar goes through to become a butterfly and embrace change.
Read on for some mind-expanding, eye-opening ways to regard change as opportunity in your life:
Loving yourself might sound a little odd, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t critical. The more you love yourself, the better you’ll take care of yourself. That impacts your health, longevity, self-esteem, self-confidence, and success.
When you love yourself, you make yourself a priority. You deserve nothing less.
As women we are often told to calm down, don’t get angry, or to be quiet. Meanwhile men are encouraged to show their power and anger. Anger is considered a power emotion. Women may be allowed to show anger with their children, but not their husbands. Men can show anger with anyone because they hold the power. Children can only show their anger to their dolls. This is a power matrix.
Unhealthy ways we often deal with anger is to stuff our emotions down, eat, drink, use another substance to take away our feelings. When we are unable to express our emotions, even those negative emotions they pop up in other ways.
Anger will come bubbling up in unexpected ways
But, what if we changed that and we all could show ‘Healthy’ anger. If we were allowed to voice our upset, frustration, and pain.
Healthy anger does not allow for losing control,...
We are human, we get anxious, we lose our cool, we get unsettled. That is totally normal. But, what happens when that state of anxiety builds or our frustration turns to anger and then to rage. That’s when we feel out of control and we may say or do things that we regret or can’t seem to control.
When we start to feel our anxiety building or our frustration turning to anger or any other emotion that might kick us up to the next level there are a number of things we could do to bring our calm back. Bring us back to center.
The first thing you can do is take deep breaths, in and out, full deep breaths counting to 10. When we get anxious or upset we tend to shallow breathe which intensifies those feelings. When we can slow our breathing and take full breaths it helps calm our ‘fight or flight’ nervous system.
Journaling is a great way to release pent up emotions. Grab a pen and paper and write about what you are feeling and why. Quite...
I know it seems like I talk about gratitude a lot. There could be a reason for that. Gratefulness is the foundation of living a happier life.
A few weeks ago I did a blog 100 Gratitudes where I asked you to list 100 things you were grateful for. I also released a Kindle book Gratitude: How to Live with Joy and Gratefulness. I often share my gratitude on my Creative U Facebook page. I do all of that as a reminder to all of us to be grateful.
Sometimes we get so bogged down in our day to day life that we forget to be grateful for what we have. We focus all our attention on lack. Our brains are hardwired to justify our thoughts, so when we spend our time only thinking about lack, that is where we stay in life.
When we can focus more on what we have, we get more of that. So, that means the more energy you put into being grateful the more things you will get to be grateful for.
Excerpt from my Book Gratitude: How to Live with Joy and Gratefulness
The Opposite of Gratefulness
The thought of trying to find peace in a chaotic world can seem overwhelming. And yet, it is one of the most important things for our health. When our bodies are in a constant place of stress, we have more illness, panic attacks, bouts of depression and anxiety. We are constantly feeling overwhelmed and unable to do anything at all. Incorporating just a few Inner peace practices can make a huge difference.
Below you will find 10 tips. Do not feel like you have to do all of them right away. Start with one, then next week 2, keep adding until you spend more time at peace then not. Not every day will be perfect and life will still throw you curve balls, but when we can learn to breathe through them or not take them on as a personal affront it allows us to distance ourselves from the chaos and move into a calmer place within.