Expectations of the Holidays

This year has been difficult for many and as we go into the holiday season you may be very anxious and even sad when you think about how different this year will be. Family gatherings will be much smaller or not at all. Gift giving is stressing you out due to finances or just what to do in these confusing times.

Before we get into the gift ideas, let's talk about expectations. The holiday season is often fraught with anxiety, depression, and disappointment as our expectations of what we want or think we should have for the holiday season does not come to fruition.

So, how can we curb our expectations?

Changing our expectations is about being realistic about what will happen based on the decisions we make. Yes, we have control over all of this.

We celebrated Christmas when I was younger, many people around the world have different holidays that they celebrate at this time of year. Christmas was such a big deal in our family, big stockings, gifts overflowing into the middle of the...

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Discover Why Hope is Power

One of the most impactful feelings you’ll ever experience is hope. Hope occurs when we center our expectations on something. Your hope is like a wish for something to happen. And there’s power in those wishes!

Consider these points to increase your power with hope:

  1. Hope plants a seed. Whenever you yearn for something, having hope is an implication that it could actually occur. Hope can germinate into a whole new existence. Your life’s journey can be enhanced simply by having hope.
  2. In order to feel hopeful, honesty is required. We’ve all experienced times when we were fooling ourselves about something, such as a relationship or work situation. But to have hope, we’re forced to be honest about what we’ve done to create the challenge. 
    • Only if you tell yourself the truth about a trying situation can you proceed ahead and experience hope.
  3. Hope produces a “can do” spirit. For example, if you want your relationship to be better, you...
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An Effective Action Plan for When You Feel Overwhelmed

You probably can’t find anyone over the age of 10 that hasn’t felt overwhelmed at some point. It takes more to overwhelm some people than others, but the feeling and the impact are the same. 

It can be very challenging to focus on solutions and take the necessary steps to resolve the situation. However, focus and action can ultimately solve most negative situations in your life.

Many of us are prone to worrying and then doing silly things to make ourselves feel better. This doesn’t solve the issue. It just avoids it temporarily. 

Take these steps to create a plan and go from feeling overwhelmed to feeling peaceful again: 

  1. Identify what is under your control. There’s little point to worrying about those things outside your locus of control. Determine what you can control and place your attention there.

  2. Focus on solutions. Now that you know what you can and can’t change, keep your attention on finding a solution. Obsessing over the problem...
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How to Deal With Feelings of Shame

Shame is similar to guilt, but more personal. You might feel guilty for stealing a TV last month, whereas you might feel shame for being a thief. When you feel guilty, you feel bad about a particular event. Shame is more pervasive and personal. You might feel shame for being a poor parent or even being the victim of abuse. 

Think of guilt as “I did something bad” and shame as, “I am bad.” 

People that never feel shame are usually psychopaths. So, that is one less worry you now have.  

Use these ideas to deal directly with any feelings of shame: 

1. Explore why you feel shame. What happened? What does that event or series of events say about you? Is that a reasonable interpretation on your part? Are you being too hard on yourself? Is it possible that you didn’t do anything wrong at all?

  • Be honest with yourself and someone else you trust. The truth might be that you don’t love your spouse anymore, or you prefer when your...
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What is our Shadow Side and How Can We Bring it Out into the Light

The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.

It is often an unconscious side. It is only through our personal efforts to become self-aware that we can begin to recognise our shadow.

Although many believe the shadow is ‘negative’, this is not really true. The Shadow is what you yourself perceive as dark and weak in yourself, and therefore needing to be hidden and denied. But this depends on your own perspective on life, and your levels of self awareness and self value.

For some their shadow might just contain such classic elements as sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty, but you might also hide your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity.

Everyone has a shadow side no matter how nice someone may seem, they have a shadow side like anyone else.

You also cannot  ‘get rid of’ or ‘heal’ your shadow. It’s an essential and...

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Four Steps to Develop a Focused Outlook and Achieve Your Goals

It's very difficult to achieve your goals if you lack focus. You'll find yourself meandering through life without anything significant to show at the end. And it happens to the best of us. When you allow yourself to "go with the flow," you'll likely come out as an underachiever.

What are you going to do about it? What changes do you need to make so you have more to show for your waking hours? Are you ready to make them? There's no better time than the present to get started.

Take these steps to develop a focused outlook and be on your way to living the life of your dreams:

  1. Know that you're the best. There isn't anyone better at what you do than you. The minute you start believing that, you'll start to pay keen attention to achieving your goals. Just the thought of being the best at something can drive you to give everything your all.
  • Self-belief is one of life's greatest gifts! It can help you to see mountains as mere bumps in the road. And once you have that attitude, very few...
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How to Discover Purpose in Your Life and Avoid Boredom

Do you ever feel like your life has no purpose – like you're just going from one day to the next, without really loving or hating it? If you're in this situation, boredom is your enemy. 

We all experience boredom at some point in life, and it stops us from meeting our full potential. If you want to get out of this rut and onto the fast track to success and fulfillment, you're going to have to give up boredom. It's time to say you'll never be bored again! 

Boredom is detrimental to your physical and mental health. It makes you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and tired. It's a fact – inactivity leads to more inactivity, plus it leaves you feeling empty and miserable. The cycle becomes ongoing, and you’ve got to consciously break its path. 

  •  If you're feeling bored and want to get out of the slump, do something – anything! It doesn't matter what. Just get moving. If you don't like your chosen activity, change to something else. 

Boredom and...

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Seven Ways to Manage Your Anxiety

 

Anxiety and worry can take over your life if you allow it to. Whether we like it or not, constant stress and worry can physically make us sick. The good news is that there are ways to help alleviate anxiety.   

The first step is to figure out exactly what you're stressing about. Is it something you can change? Is it something you have no control over? By determining the root of your anxiety, you can better understand how you can overcome it. There are plenty of situations in your life that you can change with some effort.

By determining the root of your anxieties, and developing ways to turn them into something positive, you can often overcome them. 

 Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your anxiety:

  1. Know your anxieties. Write down exactly what's causing your anxiety, then note down ways you can change the outcome. Knowing what you're up against is the key to feeling better about yourself and your current situation. 
  2. Breathe. Once...
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8 Strategies for Successfully Dealing With Rejection

Rejection can sting, but it doesn’t have to derail your efforts or your future. Rejection is a part of life that everyone must face. While rejection isn’t enjoyable, it’s rarely fatal. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help you use rejection as a stepping-stone to success. 

Try these tips to deal with rejection quickly and effectively, so you can move on: 

  1.     Take a short break. Whether a potential romantic partner, your boss, or a Hollywood director rejected you, take a short period of time to grieve and pull yourself together. Avoid taking too long to re engage with your life, though. Take the time you need, but get back out there as quickly as possible.
  2.     Realize that many other opportunities exist. How many potential romantic partners exist in the world? Millions. You’ll have other ideas to pitch to your company. A single rejection only means that you’re participating in the world. The only people that...
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10 Great Ways to Manage Frustration

You feel frustrated when your expectations aren’t being met. Frustration can’t be avoided entirely, but it can be effectively managed. Frustration isn’t enjoyable, but it can have positive benefits. It’s a sign that you believe you should be doing better. It’s also a sign that what you’re currently doing isn’t working.

However, frustration can also stop you in your tracks.

Try these techniques to handle the frustration in your life like a pro:

1. Focus on the progress you’ve made. Frustration grows if you remind yourself of how far you are from your objective. Celebrate the progress you’ve made so far. Constant improvement is the surest road to success. Avoid frustration by keeping your focus on the positive.

2. Give yourself more time than you think you require. Whether you’re moving to a new home or learning to speak French, it always takes longer than planned.

  • Get started early and plan for the worst. When you have a...
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