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How to Deal With Feelings of Shame

Shame is similar to guilt, but more personal. You might feel guilty for stealing a TV last month, whereas you might feel shame for being a thief. When you feel guilty, you feel bad about a particular event. Shame is more pervasive and personal. You might feel shame for being a poor parent or even being the victim of abuse. 

Think of guilt as “I did something bad” and shame as, “I am bad.” 

People that never feel shame are usually psychopaths. So, that is one less worry you now have.  

Use these ideas to deal directly with any feelings of shame: 

1. Explore why you feel shame. What happened? What does that event or series of events say about you? Is that a reasonable interpretation on your part? Are you being too hard on yourself? Is it possible that you didn’t do anything wrong at all?

  • Be honest with yourself and someone else you trust. The truth might be that you don’t love your spouse anymore, or you prefer when your...
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Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person just stays away. 

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Forgiveness is the healthy and logical choice for several reasons: 

  1.     Living in the past steals your present and taints your future. A great future requires an attentive present. That’s not possible if you’re living in the past. Life is happening right now in this moment. Every moment spent in the past is lost forever. Reclaim your life by forgiving and moving on.
  2.     Failing to forgive creates misery. Creating and maintaining negative thoughts doesn’t feel good. Pleasant thoughts support a pleasant mood. By refusing to forgive the person that wronged you,...
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The Importance of Self-Respect

Why is self-respect so important? 

When you have self-respect, you actually fully love yourself. You love yourself for who you are on the inside and not just because of what you do, what you look like, or what you're capable of. When you have self-respect, you take pride in who you are and you know that you’re valuable. 

On the flipside, without self-respect, it’s difficult to have honesty, confidence, and integrity. Instead, a person without self-respect may feel the emotions of anger, guilt, blame, shame, or regret, and they sport secretive behavior because deep down they feel unworthy. Beyond that, if you can’t respect yourself, how can you respect others and how can others respect you? 

Putting Your Needs First 

Too many people put the needs of others before their own. Although this is admirable, in order to respect and serve others, you need to meet your own physical and emotional needs first. Meeting your own needs first is an important...

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Self Care Isn’t Selfish

Many people feel that when they take time for themselves that they are being selfish, but it’s just not true. Self care is vital for us to continue to care for others and all our responsibilities.

How to know if you are being selfish or not?  You would think we would not need to ask this question, however in this day and age it is even more important. Our culture (especially for women) is to do for others. We are expected to do it all and do it with a smile on our face. But this would be why we have so much overwhelm, anxiety and depression, because it is just not possible to do everything without also doing for ourselves.

So how do you know if you are being selfish or not?

Selfishness never brings joy, peace, or love, it creates an inner and outer experience of isolation and loneliness. It does not create an opportunity to share, nurture, or serve. Selfishness is a choice to always think only of your needs and desires. 

Self-care chooses to respect your inner...

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Four Steps to Develop a Focused Outlook and Achieve Your Goals

It's very difficult to achieve your goals if you lack focus. You'll find yourself meandering through life without anything significant to show at the end. And it happens to the best of us. When you allow yourself to "go with the flow," you'll likely come out as an underachiever.

What are you going to do about it? What changes do you need to make so you have more to show for your waking hours? Are you ready to make them? There's no better time than the present to get started.

Take these steps to develop a focused outlook and be on your way to living the life of your dreams:

  1. Know that you're the best. There isn't anyone better at what you do than you. The minute you start believing that, you'll start to pay keen attention to achieving your goals. Just the thought of being the best at something can drive you to give everything your all.
  • Self-belief is one of life's greatest gifts! It can help you to see mountains as mere bumps in the road. And once you have that attitude, very few...
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How to Discover Purpose in Your Life and Avoid Boredom

Do you ever feel like your life has no purpose – like you're just going from one day to the next, without really loving or hating it? If you're in this situation, boredom is your enemy. 

We all experience boredom at some point in life, and it stops us from meeting our full potential. If you want to get out of this rut and onto the fast track to success and fulfillment, you're going to have to give up boredom. It's time to say you'll never be bored again! 

Boredom is detrimental to your physical and mental health. It makes you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and tired. It's a fact – inactivity leads to more inactivity, plus it leaves you feeling empty and miserable. The cycle becomes ongoing, and you’ve got to consciously break its path. 

  •  If you're feeling bored and want to get out of the slump, do something – anything! It doesn't matter what. Just get moving. If you don't like your chosen activity, change to something else. 

Boredom and...

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Seven Ways to Manage Your Anxiety

 

Anxiety and worry can take over your life if you allow it to. Whether we like it or not, constant stress and worry can physically make us sick. The good news is that there are ways to help alleviate anxiety.   

The first step is to figure out exactly what you're stressing about. Is it something you can change? Is it something you have no control over? By determining the root of your anxiety, you can better understand how you can overcome it. There are plenty of situations in your life that you can change with some effort.

By determining the root of your anxieties, and developing ways to turn them into something positive, you can often overcome them. 

 Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your anxiety:

  1. Know your anxieties. Write down exactly what's causing your anxiety, then note down ways you can change the outcome. Knowing what you're up against is the key to feeling better about yourself and your current situation. 
  2. Breathe. Once...
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8 Strategies for Successfully Dealing With Rejection

Rejection can sting, but it doesn’t have to derail your efforts or your future. Rejection is a part of life that everyone must face. While rejection isn’t enjoyable, it’s rarely fatal. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help you use rejection as a stepping-stone to success. 

Try these tips to deal with rejection quickly and effectively, so you can move on: 

  1.     Take a short break. Whether a potential romantic partner, your boss, or a Hollywood director rejected you, take a short period of time to grieve and pull yourself together. Avoid taking too long to re engage with your life, though. Take the time you need, but get back out there as quickly as possible.
  2.     Realize that many other opportunities exist. How many potential romantic partners exist in the world? Millions. You’ll have other ideas to pitch to your company. A single rejection only means that you’re participating in the world. The only people that...
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10 Great Ways to Manage Frustration

You feel frustrated when your expectations aren’t being met. Frustration can’t be avoided entirely, but it can be effectively managed. Frustration isn’t enjoyable, but it can have positive benefits. It’s a sign that you believe you should be doing better. It’s also a sign that what you’re currently doing isn’t working.

However, frustration can also stop you in your tracks.

Try these techniques to handle the frustration in your life like a pro:

1. Focus on the progress you’ve made. Frustration grows if you remind yourself of how far you are from your objective. Celebrate the progress you’ve made so far. Constant improvement is the surest road to success. Avoid frustration by keeping your focus on the positive.

2. Give yourself more time than you think you require. Whether you’re moving to a new home or learning to speak French, it always takes longer than planned.

  • Get started early and plan for the worst. When you have a...
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What Is Healing With Creativity?

Healing with Creativity can be done in many different ways and we will explore a lot of them through different classes and workshops. Here are some key points

Creativity enhances self-knowledge and self-expression.
When we’re creating, we are making decisions about what we like. What colors appeal to us? Which shapes we are drawn to? What textures do we enjoy? What words do we prefer? You may think you don’t have any opinions on these questions, but you do! To create is to make choices; to make choices necessitates paying attention to our inner selves as we assess which elements do and do not please us. 

Not only are we tuning in to ourselves when we create, but we also are expressing ourselves by making an external representation of our internal world.

Self-knowledge and self-expression are particularly important for people living with chronic illness.  Chronic illness changes our identity: The person we become living with an illness is different from the person...

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