Many of us were taught to be strong and to keep our problems to ourselves. We were taught that the world is a hostile place and we should practice “survival of the fittest.” It’s not easy to allow the world to know your flaws, weaknesses, and failures.
We’re ashamed that we’re not perfect, but make every effort to convince others that we are.
Vulnerability doesn’t come easy, but it provides tremendous freedom and many other benefits. If you can be vulnerable, it means that you accept yourself and don’t feel the need to hide yourself from everyone else.
Today, it’s challenging to have a great social life. This was true even before Covid-19 became an issue.
In the not-so-distant past, it used to be so boring to stay at home during the evenings and the weekends that people always looked for an excuse to get out of the house. But now, between streaming services, the internet, smartphones, and video games, it’s much easier to find an excuse to stay home.
Covid-19 has only made the situation even more challenging. Now, there is a legitimate reason to avoid others.
While a few select people seem to thrive with very little human contact, most people need to spend time with others to stay emotionally healthy and happy.
Luckily, there are still things you can do to help maintain your emotional health, even when your time with others is reduced.
1. Be productive. Just because you might be spending a lot of time alone doesn’t mean you just have to sit...
Wow, we made it through 2020… I have to say as horrible as it was to lose friends to covid, and know so many people died due to it, plus so many have lost their jobs, it was still a great year in so many ways. I published 2 journals, 2 ebooks, 1 international bestselling anthology, created numerous courses, and helped many women step into their most authentic lives, plus hosted a summit and a retreat and was a guest on many as well. I also have increased my listeners on my podcast and been a guest on other podcasts. I got engaged, even though the wedding has been postponed to later this year. I started creating in an art journal which was a practice I had lost long ago. I truly got over my phobia of creating video and having my picture taken. I have met some amazing people. We are eating much healthier, cooking much more at home. All in all it was a good year.
I did not get to spend nearly enough time with family or friends, but am grateful that the majority made it...
What do you do when you’re facing an obstacle?
Most people don’t like obstacles. That makes a certain sort of sense. After all, when you’ve got a goal that you’re trying to accomplish, the last thing you want or need is something standing in your way. Obstacles seem to make us stand still; they keep us from getting where we want to go. They cause us to lose whatever momentum we’ve built up. In worst-case scenarios, they become the roadblocks standing in the way of allowing us ever to get there at all.
With all this in mind, it’s no wonder obstacles look so daunting.
What if obstacles weren’t as bad as you thought? What if the one thing you’re facing right now might hold the solution to the very problem you’re trying to solve? Consider this for a moment: What if what you’re looking at is not so much an obstacle, as an opportunity? That it’s your emotions holding you back, making you think an obstacle is a...
This year has been difficult for many and as we go into the holiday season you may be very anxious and even sad when you think about how different this year will be. Family gatherings will be much smaller or not at all. Gift giving is stressing you out due to finances or just what to do in these confusing times.
Before we get into the gift ideas, let's talk about expectations. The holiday season is often fraught with anxiety, depression, and disappointment as our expectations of what we want or think we should have for the holiday season does not come to fruition.
So, how can we curb our expectations?
Changing our expectations is about being realistic about what will happen based on the decisions we make. Yes, we have control over all of this.
We celebrated Christmas when I was younger, many people around the world have different holidays that they celebrate at this time of year. Christmas was such a big deal in our family, big stockings, gifts overflowing into the middle of the...
You probably can’t find anyone over the age of 10 that hasn’t felt overwhelmed at some point. It takes more to overwhelm some people than others, but the feeling and the impact are the same.
It can be very challenging to focus on solutions and take the necessary steps to resolve the situation. However, focus and action can ultimately solve most negative situations in your life.
Many of us are prone to worrying and then doing silly things to make ourselves feel better. This doesn’t solve the issue. It just avoids it temporarily.
There’s just no way around it: betrayals hurt. Whether you’ve been betrayed by a partner or a friend, it’s difficult to recover.
There is good news however, there are things you can do to help speed up your recovery so you can move on with your life and even start looking forward to a brighter future.
So how can you heal your heart, body, and spirit after a betrayal?
Trying to ignore a betrayal traps everything inside you and can stop you from healing.
It’s important to address the issues and learn to manage them. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You’ll learn to move past the betrayal, especially if you take action to help heal yourself.
2. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness is...
Shame is similar to guilt, but more personal. You might feel guilty for stealing a TV last month, whereas you might feel shame for being a thief. When you feel guilty, you feel bad about a particular event. Shame is more pervasive and personal. You might feel shame for being a poor parent or even being the victim of abuse.
Think of guilt as “I did something bad” and shame as, “I am bad.”
People that never feel shame are usually psychopaths. So, that is one less worry you now have.
Use these ideas to deal directly with any feelings of shame:
1. Explore why you feel shame. What happened? What does that event or series of events say about you? Is that a reasonable interpretation on your part? Are you being too hard on yourself? Is it possible that you didn’t do anything wrong at all?
When someone has wronged you, forgiveness may be the last thing on your mind. You’re convinced they deserve all the anger and hostility you can muster. However, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Does your anger harm the other person? In most cases, the other person just stays away.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Forgiveness is the healthy and logical choice for several reasons:
Why is self-respect so important?
When you have self-respect, you actually fully love yourself. You love yourself for who you are on the inside and not just because of what you do, what you look like, or what you're capable of. When you have self-respect, you take pride in who you are and you know that you’re valuable.
On the flipside, without self-respect, it’s difficult to have honesty, confidence, and integrity. Instead, a person without self-respect may feel the emotions of anger, guilt, blame, shame, or regret, and they sport secretive behavior because deep down they feel unworthy. Beyond that, if you can’t respect yourself, how can you respect others and how can others respect you?
Putting Your Needs First
Too many people put the needs of others before their own. Although this is admirable, in order to respect and serve others, you need to meet your own physical and emotional needs first. Meeting your own needs first is an important...