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Self Care Isn’t Selfish

Many people feel that when they take time for themselves that they are being selfish, but it’s just not true. Self care is vital for us to continue to care for others and all our responsibilities.

How to know if you are being selfish or not?  You would think we would not need to ask this question, however in this day and age it is even more important. Our culture (especially for women) is to do for others. We are expected to do it all and do it with a smile on our face. But this would be why we have so much overwhelm, anxiety and depression, because it is just not possible to do everything without also doing for ourselves.

So how do you know if you are being selfish or not?

Selfishness never brings joy, peace, or love, it creates an inner and outer experience of isolation and loneliness. It does not create an opportunity to share, nurture, or serve. Selfishness is a choice to always think only of your needs and desires. 

Self-care chooses to respect your inner...

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What is our Shadow Side and How Can We Bring it Out into the Light

The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.

It is often an unconscious side. It is only through our personal efforts to become self-aware that we can begin to recognise our shadow.

Although many believe the shadow is ‘negative’, this is not really true. The Shadow is what you yourself perceive as dark and weak in yourself, and therefore needing to be hidden and denied. But this depends on your own perspective on life, and your levels of self awareness and self value.

For some their shadow might just contain such classic elements as sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty, but you might also hide your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity.

Everyone has a shadow side no matter how nice someone may seem, they have a shadow side like anyone else.

You also cannot  ‘get rid of’ or ‘heal’ your shadow. It’s an essential and...

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Four Steps to Develop a Focused Outlook and Achieve Your Goals

It's very difficult to achieve your goals if you lack focus. You'll find yourself meandering through life without anything significant to show at the end. And it happens to the best of us. When you allow yourself to "go with the flow," you'll likely come out as an underachiever.

What are you going to do about it? What changes do you need to make so you have more to show for your waking hours? Are you ready to make them? There's no better time than the present to get started.

Take these steps to develop a focused outlook and be on your way to living the life of your dreams:

  1. Know that you're the best. There isn't anyone better at what you do than you. The minute you start believing that, you'll start to pay keen attention to achieving your goals. Just the thought of being the best at something can drive you to give everything your all.
  • Self-belief is one of life's greatest gifts! It can help you to see mountains as mere bumps in the road. And once you have that attitude, very few...
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How to Discover Purpose in Your Life and Avoid Boredom

Do you ever feel like your life has no purpose – like you're just going from one day to the next, without really loving or hating it? If you're in this situation, boredom is your enemy. 

We all experience boredom at some point in life, and it stops us from meeting our full potential. If you want to get out of this rut and onto the fast track to success and fulfillment, you're going to have to give up boredom. It's time to say you'll never be bored again! 

Boredom is detrimental to your physical and mental health. It makes you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and tired. It's a fact – inactivity leads to more inactivity, plus it leaves you feeling empty and miserable. The cycle becomes ongoing, and you’ve got to consciously break its path. 

  •  If you're feeling bored and want to get out of the slump, do something – anything! It doesn't matter what. Just get moving. If you don't like your chosen activity, change to something else. 

Boredom and...

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Seven Ways to Manage Your Anxiety

 

Anxiety and worry can take over your life if you allow it to. Whether we like it or not, constant stress and worry can physically make us sick. The good news is that there are ways to help alleviate anxiety.   

The first step is to figure out exactly what you're stressing about. Is it something you can change? Is it something you have no control over? By determining the root of your anxiety, you can better understand how you can overcome it. There are plenty of situations in your life that you can change with some effort.

By determining the root of your anxieties, and developing ways to turn them into something positive, you can often overcome them. 

 Here are some tips and techniques to help you manage your anxiety:

  1. Know your anxieties. Write down exactly what's causing your anxiety, then note down ways you can change the outcome. Knowing what you're up against is the key to feeling better about yourself and your current situation. 
  2. Breathe. Once...
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8 Strategies for Successfully Dealing With Rejection

Rejection can sting, but it doesn’t have to derail your efforts or your future. Rejection is a part of life that everyone must face. While rejection isn’t enjoyable, it’s rarely fatal. Luckily, there are strategies you can use to help you use rejection as a stepping-stone to success. 

Try these tips to deal with rejection quickly and effectively, so you can move on: 

  1.     Take a short break. Whether a potential romantic partner, your boss, or a Hollywood director rejected you, take a short period of time to grieve and pull yourself together. Avoid taking too long to re engage with your life, though. Take the time you need, but get back out there as quickly as possible.
  2.     Realize that many other opportunities exist. How many potential romantic partners exist in the world? Millions. You’ll have other ideas to pitch to your company. A single rejection only means that you’re participating in the world. The only people that...
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10 Great Ways to Manage Frustration

You feel frustrated when your expectations aren’t being met. Frustration can’t be avoided entirely, but it can be effectively managed. Frustration isn’t enjoyable, but it can have positive benefits. It’s a sign that you believe you should be doing better. It’s also a sign that what you’re currently doing isn’t working.

However, frustration can also stop you in your tracks.

Try these techniques to handle the frustration in your life like a pro:

1. Focus on the progress you’ve made. Frustration grows if you remind yourself of how far you are from your objective. Celebrate the progress you’ve made so far. Constant improvement is the surest road to success. Avoid frustration by keeping your focus on the positive.

2. Give yourself more time than you think you require. Whether you’re moving to a new home or learning to speak French, it always takes longer than planned.

  • Get started early and plan for the worst. When you have a...
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Emotional Healing for the Hurting Heart

Isn’t it true that your emotions really take a knock when your heart is aching? Sometimes it feels like the day of healing is a million miles away. The difficult time you encountered in the past can take a while to be purged from your system.

It's definitely healthy to experience a range of emotions. However, it's unwise to have the negative ones consume your existence. You're better off working towards healing the hurt. That way, you can start to experience joy and happiness again.

Emotional healing is possible if you work at repairing the source of the hurt. As you'll see, that may mean making some tough decisions:

1. Remove negative influences from your life. If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize something important. Some of the negative influences may very well be the people closest to you! It's going to be a challenge separating from them. But your emotional health is more important than maintaining those relationships.

  • Are any of your friends guilty of adding...
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Five Ways to Add More Optimism to Your Life!

Optimism doesn’t mean engaging in wishful or fantastic thinking. It’s a way of looking at the world that gives more control to the optimist as being at least partly responsible when life is going well. According to studies optimists have healthier outlooks and tend to live longer than their more pessimistic counterparts; they also are less susceptible to the negative effects of illness, fatigue, and depression. 

Benefits of being optimistic.People who are more optimistic have better pain management, improved immune and cardiovascular function, and greater physical functioning. Optimism helps buffer the negative effects of physical illness and is associated with better health outcomes in general. Optimists tend to look for meaning in adversity, which can make them more resilient. 

A study conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health found that the most optimistic women were 30 percent less likely to die from any of the serious illnesses tracked during the...

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5 Steps to Help Counteract Isolation and Loneliness

Many people, even before Covid, found themselves feeling isolated and lonely. Where as an adult do you make friends? Where do you find like minded people to hang out with? We could do a whole post just on that one topic alone.

And now… we throw in months of quarantine and everyone facing their own fears and maybe not reaching out to others as they are consumed with surviving. So now even people who had friends and a support system may not any longer.

Loneliness creeps in and with it our self value plummets as we don’t feel valued by anyone.

So how can you counteract those feelings of loneliness and isolation?

  • Spend 15 minutes a day talking with or writing to a loved one. You may have to make the first contact. Everyone is consumed with what is happening to ‘them’, and may also be feeling lonely and isolated but not know what to do about it.  Even that small amount of connection can make a big difference. Call, write, have a zoom or messenger chat....
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